When the Recruiter Is 20 Years Younger: How Senior Candidates Can Stay Sane and Get the Offer

You have 25 years of experience. You have turned around failing businesses, built teams from scratch, closed deals worth tens of millions. And now you are sitting across from someone who was starting first grade when you were already running a department — and they are asking you to "walk them through your resume."

Every week candidates come to me after these interviews: "He didn't understand what I do at all. It was humiliating." I understand. But here is what I will tell you after my own 25 years in this profession: if you take offense, you have already lost.

What's more, even after candidates have been interviewed by me — an executive search consultant who understands their experience and value — they are still sent for another round with the company's internal HR. And there they face the same basic questions about motivation and "tell me about yourself."

Candidates leave furious: "What was the point? We already covered all of this!"

Let me explain what is actually happening here.

The Physics of the Process That Candidates Don't See

Every decent company has a hiring policy: every candidate goes through internal HR screening, regardless of where they came from. This is not bureaucracy for its own sake. It is protection against legal risk, against evaluation errors, against internal political landmines. If HR is not part of the process, they lose control — but the responsibility for a failed hire still lands on them.

As an executive search consultant, I verify your expertise and track record. But I do not work inside the company every day. I do not know that the new CFO is a micromanager who drives people out within three months. I do not know that in this particular department, twelve-hour days are normal and taking vacation is seen as weakness.

Internal HR knows. They have seen dozens of people with impressive resumes who were gone within six months because they did not fit. Their job at this stage is not to test your competencies. It is to understand: do you really know what you are getting into? Do your expectations match reality? Will you turn around and leave in two months once you see how things actually work?

And here is what most candidates fail to grasp: if you do this right, internal HR becomes your greatest ally. When you have problems adapting, when they do not give you the budget you were promised, when your manager turns out to be different from what you expected — you will go to HR. And if you made a good impression in the interview, they will be on your side.

If you came in with an attitude of "why am I wasting my time on this" — they will remember. And three months later they will think: "Oh, that arrogant one who considered himself too important for our processes."

What Internal HR Is Actually Evaluating

They are not testing your technical expertise. They are not making the final hiring decision — that is the hiring manager's job. They are doing three other things.

First, they are looking for problems that may not have surfaced earlier. Do you speak about previous employers appropriately, or do you trash everyone? Are your salary expectations realistic, or will you add 50% at the last minute? Are you stable, or do you change jobs every year because you are "seeking new challenges"?

Second, they are gathering information for a potential offer. Are there competing offers? What is critical in the package — base salary, bonus, relocation support? When can you start? Are there non-standard requests? If they do not collect this now, the offer will come in a format that does not work for you — and everyone wastes time.

Third, they are giving you insider information. And this is the most valuable thing you can get from this meeting. Internal HR knows why the previous person in the role actually left. The official version and the real one are often different. They know the manager's working style: autonomy or micromanagement. They know what the corporate culture is really like: reasonable hours or a sweatshop.

If you build the right rapport with HR, they will tell you things the hiring manager will not. Because the manager is selling you the position. HR wants you to join and not leave in three months, creating a problem for them.

Three Mistakes Experienced Candidates Make

The first mistake is showing that you are bored. HR instantly reads the body language of someone who considers themselves too important for basic questions. Even if you have told your career story five times already, answer as if you are hearing the question for the first time. Briefly, structured, with energy. This is not about respecting the recruiter. It is about showing you understand how the game is played.

The second mistake is trying to appear as if you need nothing. Senior candidates often want to demonstrate that they know everything and can handle anything. This backfires. HR understands: if you pretend now that you do not need support, but later it turns out you do — you will suffer in silence instead of asking for help. And that means problems in three months.

At the end of the meeting, say: "I understand that even with my experience, joining a new company means adapting. I will be counting on your support in the first months, especially in understanding internal processes. Could we have periodic check-ins during the first 90 days?" This shows you are reasonable, willing to learn, and see HR as a partner rather than a bureaucrat.

The third mistake is asking the wrong questions. "How many vacation days? Can I work remotely on Fridays?" These are questions from someone thinking about comfort, not results. Instead, ask: "How does the company support the onboarding of senior employees? Is there a structured process, or is it figure-it-out-yourself? What are the main challenges facing the team right now? What needs to be solved in the first 90 days?"

And here is a question that shows you are thinking a year ahead: "What typically causes people in senior roles to leave?" HR will appreciate this — you are interested not just in getting an offer, but in long-term fit.

What to Do If the HR Person Is Clearly Weak

It happens. Rarely, but it happens. You realize the person has not read your resume, asks irrelevant questions, confuses basic facts about the company.

You have three options. First, play the game professionally to the end. After the meeting, write to the search consultant: "I have some questions about the process, can we discuss?" They will escalate it gently to the hiring manager.

Second, if the company genuinely interests you, send HR a thank-you note after the meeting that tactfully summarizes the key points of your conversation. You are doing their job for them — so they can pass this information along, even if they did not fully understand it themselves.

Remember: even good companies have weak links in their hiring process. This does not always mean the entire organization is flawed. Sometimes it simply means the HR department is overloaded or this particular person is not in the right role. Your job is not to get stuck at this stage over a matter of principle.

Why This Meeting Matters More Than You Think

The meeting with internal HR after the executive search is not a repeat test of your expertise. It is a fit check, information gathering for the offer, and — most importantly — your chance to get insider information about the company that you will not get anywhere else.

HR can become your ally or your problem. The right connection now means support later, when you are already working at the company and facing your first challenges.

I have seen brilliant candidates fail this meeting because of the attitude "I am too senior for this." And I have seen candidates with less experience get offers because they understood a simple truth: every person in the hiring process is either your ally or your obstacle. And the choice depends entirely on how you interact with them.